By By Daniel Supanick
Green Zone [R]
In the new film from the director of the last two Bourne films, Matt Damon plays a rogue U.S. Army officer sifting his way through faulty intelligence before an escalating war reaches its fever pitch. This movie looks like Bourne without the amnesia thing going for it. Not that I'm complaining. Kick some ass, Mattie!
She's Out of My League [R]
Jay Baruchel plays Jay Baruchel and thinks he's really funny in this awkward comedy about a guy who scores a really hot chick who's (wait for it) out of his league. His slacker buddies make fun of him, and high jinks ensue. This movie looks horrible. People will run screaming from the theater, tearfully and painfully extolling the horrors they had to endure watching this film. It will be marked as the first sign of the coming apocalypse. Trust me. This will all happen.
Remember Me [PG-13]
Dreamy faux-vampire Robert Pattinson stars in this film about a rebellious young man who gets caught up in a relationship with a girl who is dealing with tragedies in her own life. I vaguely remember the trailer for this movie, and don't remember having much of a reaction to it. I wouldn't expect it to be life-changing, as it's clearly trying to capitalize on Robert Pattinson's status as a sex object, something that hasn't worked for anything outside the Twilight series so far.
Our Family Wedding [PG-13]
Going back to the subject of the apocalypse, Our Family Wedding stars Carlos Mencia. That's all you need to know. Don't see this movie. If you must know, though, it also stars Forest Whitaker and America Ferrera, and is about a black guy and a Hispanic girl who plan to get married, if not for their feuding fathers. Perfect. Another movie about exaggerated and forced racial tension that wouldn't actually exist to such a degree in real life. It's been ten years since Battlefield Earth, though. I guess the time has come for Whitaker to make another mind-meltingly bad movie. With Carlos Mencia.
Copyright: The Retriever Weekly